Some good ones …


siskinbob:

“A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Britain so that they can see their own doctor”. – Top laughs for a rainy Monday … :D

Originally posted on Bear Tales:

Shared by Bear Tales follower Ian.

Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman’s husband!

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A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Britain so that they can see their own doctor.

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Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling all production of humus and Taramasalata. It’s a double dip recession.

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A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks, “I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?”
The doctor replies “Yes, but you will have to be a little patient”.

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In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as: “I’ve blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i” rather than
“I’ve just buggered a 14 year old escort”.
The police still haven’t seen the funny side, my laptop’s been confiscated, and…

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The Squirrel and the Grasshopper …


siskinbob:

Love the analogy. Pretty much what is happening over hear too. Only, with less sunshine.

Originally posted on Bear Tales:

Shared by Bear Tales follower Brian.

grasshopper_thumb

THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.

The ABC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

The Australian press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others…

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